Me taking a risk at Smith Rock.
I tend to think a lot about risk. About taking risks, not taking risks, and how, when I do take them (as scary as they often are), my life feels fuller. I feel as though my boundaries are stretching and I’m challenging myself to live bigger and more expansively.
There are huge benefits to taking risks, yet studies show that men and women react to risk differently. Men tend to find it exciting and exhilarating… small wonder they seek it out more often.
Women, on the other hand, can experience feelings of nausea. Huh.
This physiological difference, along with cultural influences often result in women missing out on vital lessons on how to take healthy risks.
Growing up, boys encourage each other to take risks. They cheer for and admire their peers who take risks (regardless of the success rate).
Girls who take risks, on the other hand, risk (yes, girls take a risk when they take a risk) being seen as irresponsible and crazy in the eyes of their peers.
taking risks: we all need it
I recently read an article in National Geographic about the teenage brain that talks about that time in our lives when risk seems to be more the “norm.” Between the ages of 15 and 25, we take far more risks than we do at any other time.
And it’s not because teens are crazy. Or impulsive. Or believe they can’t die. The article talks about how this time in our lives is a huge benefit to our development. Necessary, even.
If teens take more risks, and (if we believe the vast amount of research out there on the subject) teenage boys take more (on average) than girls, does this help give them the confidence as adults to ask for a deserved raise or an overdue promotion? Are girls taking enough risks during their teenage years (and beyond) to help them move up in their chosen careers (or other similar situations)?
Taking risks prepares us for new experiences. It strengthens us for transitions. And it can provide us with the confidence and knowledge that, yes, we can do what we didn’t realize we could.
How do we teach our daughters to take healthy risks more often? How can we—as a community—provide a supportive environment conducive to taking risks for women of all ages?
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Thanks for adding this. I'd never thought about 'hazards' and 'risks' in that way before, but it's absolutely perfect. "Risk is the feeling of putting our self out there." Exactly!
I recently attended a workshop at my stepdaughter's school called "The Potential of a Puddle," in which the teacher emphasized the difference between hazard and risk. As parents, we can remove the hazards (by putting helmets on our kids, by making sure their lifejacket is secure before they go waterskiing, etc.). However we shouldn't remove the risk. Risk is the feeling of putting ourself out there, whereas known hazards are to be avoided.I love this distinction, because it reminds parents to embrace risk in their children's lives without putting them unnecessarily in harm's way. Risk is an essential part of growth–regardless of age. As a parent embracing risk for her child, that in itself can feel like a risky idea.
As far as the risks you list, I wouldn't categorize them as "unhealthy" (unless you're riding your bike against traffic, with no helmet or skills…). I think each of those have, as you point out, definite rewards. Maybe "healthy" means to assess the risks and choose for yourself if they're worth it to you or not. As for your point about teenage girls, I totally agree… which is why I think it's SO important to teach girls that it's not only okay to take risks, but that it's necessary.
I see your point, but I think there are "unhealthy" risks (riding your bike in traffic? going outside when it's snowing? traveling to a country with malaria?) where the rewards might outweigh the expected decrease to your lifespan.And I think for teenage girls especially there's a big emphasis (from parents/adults) on avoiding these things at all costs.
Aaron – it absolutely makes sense. I think that as we get older and add more responsibilities into our lives, our risk-taking becomes much more measured. Yet I also think if we totally stop taking risks, we stop growing and expanding. The risks might change, but we still need to explore and push ourselves. Kudos to you for being aware and using risk to stay grounded. Love it!
I was just thinking about this a week or so ago. I am much more cautious now that I have so much to lose, but I try to keep myself grounded through the occasional risk, if that makes sense. It keeps me moving forward.
I say "healthy" risks because there are plenty of risks (such as driving high on meth, for example, robbing a bank and taking hostages, drinking 30 shots of tequila to qualify for a fraternity, etc.) that qualify as risk-taking behaviors, but don't necessarily stretch your personal boundaries or help you gain maturity.Healthy risks are those that teach us what we're capable of. They're the ones that help us learn how to mitigate risks in order to not only continue living, but to push our personal boundaries toward more success. Healthy and safe to you will be different than healthy and safe to me, but there's a definite difference that needs to be considered between healthy and unhealthy.
Why only "healthy" risks? Maybe part of it is letting go of the belief that people should only take "healthy" or "safe" risks and that someone else can tell you what's healthy.