Introducing Friends to the Outdoors

learning to mountain bike: novice (me) & expert (my husband)

If you’re one of the many athletes that is experienced in outdoor sports, you’ve probably been in situations where you want to introduce a new friend (or date) to your favorite outdoor passion.

And we’ve all heard the horror stories from those on the other end—who’ve been indoctrinated into the outdoors without preparation—and have been scared and are hesitant to try again.

I cringe when I hear these horror stories. Actually, I usually do more than cringe... hearing about horrible experiences from beginner’s will get me pretty riled up.

I realize that sometimes our enthusiasm and excitement can overwhelm our better judgement. And sometimes we’re simply ignorant or naive about what we’re getting our friends into.

I want to share a few key insights I’ve learned over the years—both as a newbie and as a teacher—that you can use to help introduce your friends to your favorite sport safely and with an experience that they’ll actually want to have again and again.

ask yourself why

Before going through all the planning and cajoling to get your sedentary or city-folk friends to head into the outdoors for some active fun, be sure you ask yourself why you want to. Maybe they’ve expressed interest and they’ve asked you. Or you know them really well and think they’d totally get into it. Be wary if your motivation is to somehow fix them, or change them (i.e., “you really need to get in shape.”).

The best experiences I’ve seen are from people that are truly passionate about their sport, but have been able to put the other person’s experience above their own. They approach the day with patience, kindness and an intent to make it as fun as possible for the other person.

assess interest

my first outdoor climb | golden, co

First of all, make sure your friend is actually interested in your favorite sport. Just because you’re addicted to climbing and can’t imagine a sport more perfectly suited to everyone in the world, doesn’t mean that everyone is going to love climbing.

Some of our friends want to please us, and end up following a path of least resistance and don’t put up much of a fight (even if they’re dreadfully afraid of heights, or don’t know how to swim).

They’ll agree to go to the local crag or sign up for that local 10K, and will usually do so quite happily. Just be sure they’re really excited about it and won’t end up trudging along just for us. We want them to have fun, too, remember?

consider ability

Along with interest, make sure you take some time to talk about their level of fitness and experience.

I went surfing a long time ago with a friend (both of us were beginners). However, it wasn’t until we got out into the water of this beautiful, secluded (read: no one else there) beach break that he decided to tell me he didn’t know how to swim. Uh oh.

I wish I’d known that before we hit the water.

And on the subject of safety, it’s a good idea to underestimate and start slow. Assume your protégé is a true beginner. Start with the basics. Be clear about what you’re planning and what they’ll need to be prepared for. It might not seem like a big deal when you say, “it’s not that long,” when in fact, the hike is 9-miles with plenty of elevation gain.

I recently heard a story of this actually happening, and now, the woman who was really excited to go on a hike (that she thought was going to be about four miles), doesn’t believe she’s cut out for the outdoors. She doesn’t think she’s good enough. (Grrr.)

Remember that what seems easy and natural for us, might be really challenging and tough for another.

understand previous experience

class 3 climbing | mt. wetterhorn

Once you’ve established they’re interested, understand where—exactly—your friends’ skill level is. We all judge ourselves on a different scale. A runner in Boulder, for example, who runs only 10 miles a day, may consider themselves a moderate runner. Hello... that’s 70 miles a week. That’s a lot of running. (Crazy Boulderites).

And I’m not saying that anyone is right or wrong—but it’s really, really important to understand exactly how one defines their level of experience.

So ask questions. When’s the last time you’ve skied? Where did you go? What kind of runs (a blue run in the Poconos is vastly different than a blue run in Crested Butte).

Biking 25 miles on a neighborhood trail is different that 25 miles up a singletrack mountain pass.

equipment

A beginner isn’t likely to have all the latest gear and equipment, or even know what’s needed. Be sure to bring some extras (including water and snacks), and if applicable, have a conversation ahead of time about what they’ll need. I forget who said this, but having the right gear makes a world of difference when weather conditions turn.

plan b

And along that line, be sure to have a Plan B in case the weather turns, or they’re simply not having fun. Maybe it’s a shorter hike instead of to the summit, or the climbing gym instead of outside. Or maybe simply apres ski drinks after lunch instead of going back out on the slopes. You get the idea.

let go of expectations

One of the most important things about introducing friends to the outdoors (or to anything, for that matter) is to let go of your expectations and attachment to the outcome.

They might absolutely hate it and quit early, or they simply might not fall in love with it (I know, shocking isn’t it? But it has been known to happen). And you know what? That’s okay.

On the other hand, they might surprise you and be an all-out natural. (And may even be faster than you, so beware of the evil green monster!)

have fun

Remember that the ultimate goal is to have fun with your friends.

What do you guys do when you’re introducing newbies to your favorite sport to help them have a really great experience? Do you have any horror stories from when you were a newb?

Next week we’ll tackle the responsibilities of beginners.

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Comments

[Laurel]

Maybe it's a good idea for safety reasons to "underestimate", but I feel like I'm constantly being underestimated and that's not fun either. Or maybe I'm being correctly estimated and I just need to decrease my expectations for myself...

[Amy C]

I hear you and have been in those shoes, too. And you bring up a great point. My intent is to help very (as in first-time) beginners, to feel safe and not get in over their heads. (As well as bring awareness to those taking the lead.)

It's a great comment and I'm on my iPhone... I want to put some thought into a more in-depth response for tomorrow. Stay tuned... And in the meantime, trust your instincts and ability. :)

[Amy C]

Laurel,

I disagree strongly that you need to decrease your expectations of yourself. :)

My guess is that you know yourself and your abilities well. Without knowing the particulars, I wonder if it's feasible for you to speak up and educate your friends and those you're out with - let them know that you can do it, or offer to take the lead and show them what you're capable of.

My other thought is that if this is a constant feeling for you with a particular group of people, could it be that you'd thrive with a new tribe?

It's a tough topic and fine line, but I think it's important to ask a lot of questions (as both the beginner and the leader) to make sure you're both on the same page and not inadvertently hurting feelings or making assumptions that are inaccurate, and to speak up if you feel your voice isn't being heard.

I hope this helps... and hope you're having a wonderful holiday weekend.

_Amy