Tuesday, April 26, 2011 at 7:02AM | Amy C Assumptions on the Trail: A Rant (and a Plea)
Sunset in the Grand Canyon
If you looked up more often you might actually enjoy the view,” the man commented as I panted past him, running back up to the rim.
I couldn’t believe it. I mumbled some response back to him and continued on my way up, spending the next 20 minutes coming up with a bevy of responses as my feathers kept ruffling in the breeze.
Let me back up and explain the scenario:
I’m at the Grand Canyon. I’m running alone, uphill out of the canyon. He’s hiking down into the canyon with a group of five other people, all with large backpacks and hiking poles.
I’ll go ahead and caveat this right away: I could’ve interpreted this exchange all wrong. But let’s say (for fun) that my impression of the exchange was accurate. Because even if this one wasn’t, it does happen. A lot.
So I’ll get on with the story and make my point. Which is this:
Don’t assume that your idea of how to do something is the right way (or only way) for others.
assumptions
I’ve talked about making assumptions here before and I think it’s a subject that’s important to keep talking about.
My interpretation of this man’s comment is this: He’s walking down the canyon, taking his time and therefore is having a better experience than me because he has the time to take it all in.
I, on the other hand, am running by, unable to fully appreciate the canyon and experience the majesty of the environment. I’m not doing it “right.”
ARGH. Is it so difficult to respect the choices of others? Especially when they have no bearing—What. So. Ever—on you?
A section of the S. Kaibab trailFor a full mile (about 20 minutes at the pace I was going), I grumbled and mumbled about his arrogance and insensitivity (and then grumbled and mumbled some more about the fact that I was mumbling and grumbling over an opinion that I wished I could simply let roll off my back), coming up with all kinds of things I wanted to retort back.
Points such as, “I’m covering 16 miles in one day and have seen more of the canyon than you probably will.” “I’ve stopped and taken over 100 pictures today (true) and did you notice how the color of the trail changes? You can see that when you look down at your feet.” “If you weren’t so concerned with my experience (or lack of), you could be looking out right now enjoying the view.”
And any number of variations on those themes. And yes, I realize these responses are all quite childish and no better than his original comment.
I’m also very glad that I didn’t say them to him and was able to keep going without showing how much his glib comment had riled me up.
Anyway... I believe I’m digressing. Here’s my point:
Respect others’ experiences and allow them to enjoy the outdoors as it fits them—not you.
He was clearly relishing his experience backpacking into the canyon, which is awesome. And I was (although maybe not as clearly since I was very likely huffing and puffing) enjoying myself immensely running through the canyon.
the negative effects of assumptions
The Colorado riverRunning is my meditation. Maybe hiking is his. Or maybe being with that particular group was especially significant for him. I don’t know (and I don’t need to know).
Knowing I was in the canyon was a phenomenal feeling for me and by his assumption, he dismissed my experience as “less than.”
And that’s a shame. Whatever our reasons for being outdoors, they’re individual and valid for each and every one of us.
When beginners talk about new and exciting experiences they’re discovering, I’ve heard veterans carelessly dismiss them out of hand, not even realizing that they’ve completely burst someone’s bubble.
“Oh, you’re running that 10K? That’s an easy one. You should run the [insert a ‘harder-in-the-opinion-of-the-veteran’ run here] instead.”
Who is it easy for? Certainly not for the newbie runner whose longest run to date is three miles. Certainly not for the recovering runner who has a new titanium hip.
Easy is relative. So is each individual experience.
a simple request
A cactus bloom along the trailMy request to you is to please watch what you say. Be conscious of the words—and tone of voice—you use.
It’s not always easy and we’re not always going to be successful. But maybe look at the world today just a little bit differently.
We all make assumptions about others—deserved or not. It’s part of how we as humans organize information. But if we all stop and think just a little bit more often before we say something, maybe ask a question or two before commenting, maybe we can come to understand that our assumptions might not reflect reality.
Oh, and while we’re out there enjoying nature, let’s be sure and cheer on others that are enjoying the outdoors. Who knows... this could be the experience that changes their life in amazing and significant ways.
Isn’t that why we’re out there?
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Reader Comments (10)
The hiker may have been acting out of fear. As he started his trek down into the canyon, he felt powerful and strong, breathing in the intoxicating views and sense of awe. Then he saw you and it made his trek feel small and wimpy. You were running up the grand canyon for heaven's sake! I don't know. I'm making an assumption here, and, like you said, it doesn't matter what kind of experience he was having. It was his. But in trying to understand our fellow man, I'll just say this: sometimes men get intimidated by strong, athletic women. I've heard a few huffy remarks when I sailed past guys hiking up into the backcountry at the ski area. I try not to let it bother me. I try to stay in the moment. But it's always a bummer. Hope it didn't ruin your trip.
Hey Kim.
Thanks for your insight. It certainly didn't ruin the trip. But it did highlight an issue I see a lot - and wanted to bring up. No matter what others are doing around us... I want us ALL to be able to enjoy our moments, without comparison. I wish for him to be able to hike and enjoy his moment without worrying about me (or others) around him.
And if what you're suggesting is true (and maybe it's not for him, but I've definitely seen it in other situations), I hope for him that he might not feel intimidated... that he (and others like him) can cheer fellow men/women on as they enjoy the outdoors in their own way.
It's funny... I also had a couple of people comment (both men and women) about how I was making them look bad by running. It was awkward for me, and I'm never sure how best to respond (I ended up saying things like, you're looking strong (they were) or pointing out that I didn't have a 50lb pack on my back).
I'd love for us all to enjoy the outdoors at our own pace and unique perspectives. And to respect and appreciate that others are doing the same.
This is so important. To be respectful of others. It takes more sometimes to hold your tongue and leave something unsaid.
Another scenario is possible: for geared up / outdoorsy folks to look down on hikers / vacationers in jeans and sneakers. I've learned this as a forest service volunteer - the mountains are big and (I think) able to accommodate all types (hikers, climbers, daytrippers, peakbaggers, etc).
BTW. I keep my head down while hiking but mostly to avoid falling. :)
Cheers.
Chris
Amy, this is such a rich, revealing post, and it speaks so wisely to our fears about there being a correct way to do everything in our lives. As one shouldering a pack, I often look at trail runners and experience moments when I doubt my own ability in comparison, when I know I shouldn't. Your example is a sage reaffirmation that we should not judge, we do not understand others' journeys and we should celebrate all the gains we make. Thank you!
Chris - Definitely! Well said. I've looked at hikers in jeans near the summit of high peaks and worried about them as I watch storm clouds roll in... but I'm *always* psyched to see them out enjoying it. (And motivates me even more to help educate beginners.)
I have encountered this with other user groups when I mountain bike. They think that just because I am on a bike I am not enjoying nature and the scenery...that i am out for a thrill ride. I really related to this because I can never come up with a good response on site and then spend the rest of my ride cursing them instead of enjoying nature. I also think this behavior really affects the next person you encounter on the trail which leads to more conflicts. Someone might have been rude to me because another mtn biker was rude to them (sometimes 10 hrs ago) and vice versa. I try to always be courteous and nice even when it is not reciprocated but inside it makes me angry and sad. I just wish people would treat each other as people, neighbors, friends instead of 'user groups' and that one comment can really ruin someones day and have a negative impact on others.
Laurie - Great insight. I think you're exactly right when you talk about "fears about there being a correct way to do everything in our lives."
It's so important to remember that it's *our* life and the most important thing we can do it take care of ourselves and listen to our own voice instead of allowing others' voices to drown ours out.
Don't assume they're beginners just because they're in jeans! ;) Jeans are great climbing/hiking clothes when there are spiky plants and abrasive rock, and if it starts raining you can always change into rain pants (or get the hell out of there).
Good point, Laurel. I've definitely seen more hikers in jeans out here in the desert.
Jen - I'm so sorry to hear that you've had negative experiences. I hear you on the contagiousness of negativity. It can be a real drag.
Luckily, I think it can go both ways and we have the ability to spread positive vibes. Maybe the more cheering on we can do for others will help those who're so negative to see that there are all kinds of ways to enjoy the outdoors. :)